I’ve come to know something about myself: I thoroughly enjoy writing with all my heart, but I can’t really come to terms with having to engage in conversations with others face to face. A part of me thinks its the fear of coming off as a boring or disintersting person. Another is running out of things to say. But my biggest one is that I haven’t really found my crowd. Sure, I can be civil enough to ask the basic questions; “How’s your family?”, “What have you been up to lately?”, “Has it been that long?”.
But those aren’t real conversations.
We can lie, leave certain details out or just not like that person that we’re talking to. I’ll be honest, I’ve had to sitdown and pretend to be interested in what the other person is saying lots of times. And its not a fun position to be in. I get it, we have to have these moments sometimes, its a part of life.
But do I really?
The point of having conversations is to say what needs to be said, to learn and build off of one another and to get to know the person that we’re talking to.
And this is where I talk about why I love writing.
Look, I get it, reading can be boring for some people, but don’t you love the idea of how if you don’t like what you’re reading, you can just stop? Whereas if you don’t like what someone is saying, you’re kind of stuck until you can find a time to excuse yourself and jam.
When I write, I have the liberty to express myself without the fear of judgement. I just got to make sure that what I’m writing will be able to capture the attention of my reader. Kind of like how I hope you are engaging and understanding what it is that I’m communicating to you through these words.
This is why so many people find themselves lost in books. Somehow and in someway the author was able to captivate their audience and hook the reader into reading what they have to say. Something that can’t always be captured in a conversation. The beauty and the mystery of it can get lost when simply telling someone a story out loud.
My ability to communicate much better through words can have something to do with how I am more of an introvert and would prefer not to have to talk with others as well, but I like to believe that I am able to say what I want better through pen and paper. I love the liberty of sitting alone with my thoughts and getting out what’s on my mind without the awkward eye contact and worry of not making sense.
the Literary Poetess